In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Randomize
