Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
