its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
