She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
