god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
