There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
not ubering you a puppy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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