its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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