i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
