Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
