so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
