just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
