Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
