I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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