Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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