how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
