No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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