your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
