it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
