it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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