Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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