would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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