whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ok first of all what the fuck
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
