Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
