Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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