I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
