I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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