why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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