Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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