well most of my day revolves around power hour
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
this will be a night to untag.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
