tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
