Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
