Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
