glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
