With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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