i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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