Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
