I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I will pee on everything he values.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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