Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
