You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
