Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
