He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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