We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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