I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im about as happy as oj after his trial
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
