I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
