her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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