I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
