kristin has been a bad kristin
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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