I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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