The maid of honor just puked.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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