i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
